To Be Human

written by tanya b.
designed by laney n.
photo by jason s.

When I first saw you, I despised you. In realms beyond mortal sight, I watched you in your frivolous pursuit of a life so limited. Such frail creatures are blind to the celestial ballet. You seek power as you lay ignorant. You seek possession of a reality that may never exist. I watch you in your weary path - a life so mundane. Infinite cycles of a monochrome existence - is that all that you are? The others seem to believe so. They tell me of your insignificance. They tell me of your naivety. They look at you like puppets - playthings for the Gods' pleasure.

My existence is so vastly different from yours. Some may call me an ethereal presence indifferent to time's boundaries. Others may say I'm the keeper of wisdom who can bend the universe to its will. Powerful things, yet I can't take my eyes off you - a Goddess amongst the stars unequivocally drawn to you.

I soon despised you for your mere ability to capture my attention. A mortal of all things! Like a siren, you lured me to your side. Fragile bones surrounded by flesh and blood - is that all you are, I wondered? I began to follow you, your thoughts, and your dreams. There might be more than what it might seem. A flare exists among the cold mundane that holds a light. It's faint, but I see it. It's unlike anything I have ever seen before.

Your will- your will is resilient. Your time is so little, yet hope is so vast. How do you do it? How is it that you can be so much with the time that you have? Little by little, you changed before me. Eyes like portals, showing just a glimpse of the galaxies in your mind. Ears to hear the Earth's song and a heart to sound a rhythm to those around you.

Now, here I sit, where I have always been, as you take your last steps. You look up at the sky and marvel at the stars and the heavens.

"I wonder what they look like," you say. "Do they have hands or a form of any sort? Or are they just wisps of fate that watch over us?"

How small you must feel in that moment to think your existence is one of many. What other creatures might exist within the tapestry of worlds amongst the seas, the heavens, and the mind?

When I saw you at your last, I fell in love with you. I fell in love with the stories you leave behind in the etchings of the Earth. I fell in love with your mortality and the ability it gives you to believe in hope.

Now, you're gone, and I wait for the next. Are we just meant to always wonder about the other for the rest of time? One with the knowledge and one without, bound together in the twisted fate of star-crossed lovers. Watching you live a life filled with bliss, heartache, and purpose, I soon become the one I despised - a being drained lifeless in a mundane cycle. Never would I have thought to see you as something otherworldly. The curse of immortality tightens its hold on me as I watch you move on. The dull ache in my chest lay heavy, a reminder of my permanence in this world.

Oh, to be human!